Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Where I've been- where I'm at
In 1999, my first serious boyfriend proposed. Thankfully, I said no. There were many reasons. One reason though was because of CREDIT. We were young and in college. He had no foresight in the amount of money he was spending or debt he was assuming. I wanted no part of that.
Move ahead a few years to 2003, I married Onna's dad. I'd just graduated from college. I hadn't found a job in my field yet. He was "self-employed" which for him meant he could work as much or as little as he wanted. I paid the bills for everything, mostly on my credit card. There's one main reason that I did that- his son. I love him with all my heart. If I had to do it over again, I'm not sure what I would do. I'm glad I don't have to decide. I hope that I gave his son some stability during a time in his life when he didn't have that. However, I'm still paying for it. Because we were not married yet when we started accumulating some (most) of the debt and the credit cards were in MY name, the debt is mine.
Now I'm raising Onna. Doing my best to "make it." I don't have credit cards. I cut them up when I was still with her dad. I've worked very hard to pay off the old debt and not go further into debt. I'm paying off my school loans, and John is taking care of my tuition this time around.
Yeah, John. He's AMAZING. I really don't know what I'd do without him! I'm very independent. I try really hard to not rely on anyone. I don't want to have to need anyone. I hate OWING someone, anyone.
So now he's in my life I know that worst case scenario, if I can't pay a bill, he'll help me. I don't have to worry about things being shut off, or being kicked out of my house. (Since I rent from my parents I don't think that would happen anyway. :) ) Like I said though he's paying my tuition and now he bought us a this. Not only is it the best Christmas present ever, what impressed me the most is that he paid for it in cash. He just wrote a check, no loan needed. Granted it's not a new vehicle, it has plenty of miles on it, but seriously I LOVE the fact that it's OURS- no payments needed.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that during my struggles I've looked at other people and thought, "It's not fair. Why do things always work out for them and not me? Why do I have to work so hard?" Now I've realized I don't care. I wouldn't trade what I have for anything in the world.
Move ahead a few years to 2003, I married Onna's dad. I'd just graduated from college. I hadn't found a job in my field yet. He was "self-employed" which for him meant he could work as much or as little as he wanted. I paid the bills for everything, mostly on my credit card. There's one main reason that I did that- his son. I love him with all my heart. If I had to do it over again, I'm not sure what I would do. I'm glad I don't have to decide. I hope that I gave his son some stability during a time in his life when he didn't have that. However, I'm still paying for it. Because we were not married yet when we started accumulating some (most) of the debt and the credit cards were in MY name, the debt is mine.
Now I'm raising Onna. Doing my best to "make it." I don't have credit cards. I cut them up when I was still with her dad. I've worked very hard to pay off the old debt and not go further into debt. I'm paying off my school loans, and John is taking care of my tuition this time around.
Yeah, John. He's AMAZING. I really don't know what I'd do without him! I'm very independent. I try really hard to not rely on anyone. I don't want to have to need anyone. I hate OWING someone, anyone.
So now he's in my life I know that worst case scenario, if I can't pay a bill, he'll help me. I don't have to worry about things being shut off, or being kicked out of my house. (Since I rent from my parents I don't think that would happen anyway. :) ) Like I said though he's paying my tuition and now he bought us a this. Not only is it the best Christmas present ever, what impressed me the most is that he paid for it in cash. He just wrote a check, no loan needed. Granted it's not a new vehicle, it has plenty of miles on it, but seriously I LOVE the fact that it's OURS- no payments needed.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that during my struggles I've looked at other people and thought, "It's not fair. Why do things always work out for them and not me? Why do I have to work so hard?" Now I've realized I don't care. I wouldn't trade what I have for anything in the world.
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